Newsweek features LDS church

The cover story of Newsweek magazine that hit newsstands Monday focuses on the 200th birthday of LDS Church founder Joseph Smith, who the magazine refers to as "prophet and polygamist, mesmerizer and rabble-rouser, saint and sinner."This year's 200th anniversary of Smith's birth gave Newsweek assistant editor Elise Soukup, a 2002 Brigham Young University graduate, the idea for the article she researched and wrote. [via Deseret News]

A side note on this picture that Newsweek features, I believe I've seen this stained glass of the first vision with my own eyes in a downtown chapel I once attended.

Anyhow, here are some quotes that Newsweek's Soukup writes and my take on them in red.

• "Traditionally conservative but not really part of the religious right... In the emotional case of Terri Schiavo earlier this year, however, the church diverged from many conservative Christians when it responded to news media by saying, "Members should not feel obligated to extend mortal life by means that are unreasonable."
  [CLIFF] Got that right! LDS march to a different tune than the religious right of the South. Shiavo was such an example of this. Teaching Intelligent Design in classrooms is another. It's not only their different positions, but also the methods, style and aggressiveness that are also different.
• "There is also room for policy differences among public figures who happen to be Mormon: Romney opposes fetal-stem-cell research, while Sen. Orrin Hatch of Utah supports it."
  [CLIFF] There can be a wide umbrella of political viewpoints under Mormondom. We can strongly disagree on issues and still be wonderful members of the church. Church leaders tend to neutrality and sustaining political leaders. It would be alien, for example, for a church leader to call on the Lord to retire Supreme Court justices or to speculate that an assassination of a world leader might be in order.
• "The church's early converts, many of whom learned about it from missionaries, were sometimes shocked when they met Smith in person. He was uneducated, he lost his temper, he enjoyed power—and perhaps most startling for converts was the fact that, on occasion, his ventures failed. Simply put, he didn't always seem like a prophet."
  [CLIFF] Well put. Members brought their own baggage of what they thought a prophet should behave like. In regards to failed business ventures, church history tells us that the Kirtland Safety Society went bankrupt while leaders preached that such a venture was of God. There were things that the visionary Joseph Smith stumbled at, business being one.
  
• "the church encourages internal debate, arguing that doubt can be an important precursor to faith. 'I think the Lord expects us to think,' President Gordon B. Hinckley, the incumbent prophet who Mormons believe leads the church through divine revelation, told NEWSWEEK.
  [CLIFF] Great quote. Brigham Young pondered long and hard for two years about the Book of Mormon before he joined the church. When he finally did join, he had incredible zeal.
  

Knowest thou the condescension of God?

What a fantastic, complex question that an angel asked of Nephi. God descending from celestial courts on high to mortality was a condescension. Being baptised by John was another.

But God didn't just slide from the celestial to mortality. He slid from the highest political and social ranks of heaven to one of the humblest in this life. We forget that.

When I slide from a high to a low in life, His divine descent takes on a different dimension. I have noticed that Jesus was not angry or bitter at his meagre station or lack of comfort here. He was patient with life's inequities when it came to himself. He seemed to have had more important things on his mind.

I wonder what it would be like if he crossed the great divide -- the cultural, religious and time barriers that seperate us-- to be born here. Yes, I know that the scriptures focus primarily on a semitic Messiah coming to Judea, but that ancient world seems so distant. Nephi tells us to liken the scriptures to us, and in doing so I cannot help but wonder what Jesus would be like before his 3-year ministry if he were here among us...

If Jesus lived in modern America as he did in Galilee, he'd be quite poor. He would wear beat-up old jeans and a frayed tee shirt with holes in it. He'd repair leaky roofs or work at WalMart to try to pay for basics when he did have work. With little schooling, he’d also be largely self-taught. He wouldn't drive a Taurus. He'd depend daily on the public transportation system, friends and members of his ward to drive him from point A to point B. He'd be born of a picked on, conquered and downtrodden people. Being born black in the South during the 40s would fit. But if you were lucky to be able to see inside of that poor, plain exterior you just might see the light beaming out in all its splendor and glory. Or, you might see nothing at all.

Japan has such cool toys

My children have grown up watching a Japanese cartoon character called Doraemon so I relate to this story found on Gizmodo. After all these years, Japan still cannot get enough of the nutty blue robot cat. This time, Doraemon comes in a new high-tech watch with 64MB or 128MB of memory built in so you can store MP3 music files, images, and cartoons. Of course, these high tech toys are usually only available in Japan first. To see more detail, click Doraemon, The Watch!

Chinese farmer eaten by own bears

I have been to the edge of Chinese civilization, the border towns of old Manchuria and Russia. It was there that I saw my first Russian, in the days when it was rare for an American to see one. It is still a wild country, with restaurants that feature menu items like moose nose, bear palm and bile. I've seen first hand the Chinese appetite for such things.

Well, it seems the bears had their turn. A Chinese man who raised bears to tap them for their bile, prized as a traditional medicine in Asia, was killed and eaten by his animals, Xinhua news agency said on Tuesday. The bears were still running around in the pen when the police came to retrieve the farmer's body.

The moral of the story is one doesn't mess around with wild mother nature without really being prepared. And even then things can go wrong, particularly when it involves bears that are poorly treated -- or actually, especially when it involves bears.
Photo by Gracey Stinson via Morguefile.com.

USS Salt Lake City nuclear submarine doesn't sound right

Who knew that there was a nuclear submarine that was named the USS Salt Lake City? Well, there is, and part of me cannot help but be perplexed. The problem is the name. It doesn't fit.

Although Utah has a long history of supporting the armed forces, having a weapon of mass destruction named after our fair city does not suit a place where pioneers escaped persecution in a long exodus, building a "new Zion" in the middle of nowhere to be unmolested. It was hoped that the world would think peace, love and tolerance when they heard the name Salt Lake City, not fear and trembling.

Besides, if we name naval ships after communities, one day we might have ships called Elephant Butte, Idiot Creek, Dork Canal or even Zyzzx. We don't want our enemies to think we are asleep at the wheel as we attack them. Frankly, a more appropriate name for a ship than the USS Salt Lake City would be the USS Don't-Tread-on-Me or the USS Get-Out-Of-The-Way-Or-Be-Crushed. Those labels are straight-forward and macho. Our enemies need to think of us in this way and not as the USS Panic. (That's in Pennsylvania).

The word is now out that the 20-year-old USS Salt Lake City will soon be no more. Because of budget cuts, the U.S. Navy is decommissioning the nuclear submarine Oct. 26 during a ceremony in San Diego. The sub will then take a skeleton crew around the Arctic ice cap and on to Connecticut, where it will be taken apart. I would have been pleased if they just changed the name.

So moved by Extreme Makeover that some revert to Dr. Seuss rhyme

We had a local family who had their home made over for the television series "Extreme Makeover".

The family and watchers were so moved that they found the words difficult to come by. Gordon Harrison stood before hundreds of friends, family members and volunteers who had rebuilt his family's Bountiful home and struggled to find the right words. Some in the crowd reverted to Dr. Seuss rhymes to describe their feelings. One observer said, "It was a great time", while another, "The time was long". One man said, "That was quite a thing." while a woman replied, "Quite a thing, it really is."

Meanwhile, the cat in the hat could not be seen.

Mistake leads to 29-cent gas price

AP - One gas station manager's mistake paid off for Lincoln, Nebraska drivers who were in the right place at the right time Friday. For 30 to 45 minutes, three of the Kabredlo's Convenience Store's four pumps sold premium unleaded gas for 29 cents a gallon.

Why don't mistakes like this happen in my neighborhood? At 29 cents per gallon, I could afford to give my car premium. It hasn't had such a treat since it was a wee toddler right off the car dealership lot when for a brief moment I pampered it.

Dog testicles win Ig Nobel Awards

An inventor, an obvious lover of dogs, has created artificial testicles for dogs to "allow your pet to retain his natural look" and "self esteem" for when Cialis simply isn't good enough. The male dogs in my neighborhood will give a sigh of relief tonight. My bitch pictured on top (be good now, this is the proper technical term for her) yawns at such artificiality and vanity among her male peers.

Another team of scientists calculated the pressures created when penguins poop. They and the creator of the artificial dog testicles were beneficiaries of Harvard's Ig Nobel prizes for 2005 on Thursday. I just want to know if this is what you have to do nowadays to get a grant.

Alaska Airlines' 737 (pronounced Salmon Thirty Salmon)

Looks great but what a price! Alaska Airlines is promoting the Alaska fishing industry with a "Salmon Thirty Salmon" -- a Boeing 737 painted with a gigantic fish. Take a closer look. However, my father in Alaska will be unhappy to learn that this flying fish painting cost half-a-mil in tax dollars. Ouch! [via Boing Boing]

First snow on the benches, Salt Lake City

Oh no. Winter is coming to Salt Lake fast! The Wasatch Front (a wall of mountains in the Rocky Mountain range bordering Utah's northern cities) had a light dusting of snow above the bench today as temperatures dropped. Summer is gone. Fall is here and Winter approaching. Will Utah have one more wet year after nearly 6 years of draught? One hydrologist gives it a "neutral chance" -- technical speak for "it beats me".

The snow puts me in the mood to create a limerick (reader beware).

There was a warm yard in SL City
Now dusted with snow, what a pity
The summer is gone
and so its green lawn
The weather grows white, itty-bitty
-cliff-

'Sons of Porn'? Fans of LDS film get shock

Ooops. Someone slipped wrong DVDs into the wrong cases. The newly released, squeaky clean LDS film "Sons of Provo" has taken on a new moniker: "Sons of Porno." However, the distributor is correcting the slip up of a few DVD cases. For those who might have the wrong DVD, he insists that the wrong movie is only about a gay porn star and does not contain porn. Hmmm...

10/5/05 Update: The LDS film company Halestorm is trying to keep its squeeky clean image. It is offering $100 for anyone that received "Adored: Diary of a Male Porn Star" instead of the "Sons of Provo" DVD. It's a good thing that your customers are honest, Halestorm, because in another market there might be consumers sorely tempted to go buy a $20 DVD of "Male Porn Star" so that they could get $100. If your audience wasn't who it was, you would be asking for a hail storm, Halestorm. Let's see what happens...

Flipper trained to flip out?

The Observer of Britain has really out done itself this time, reporting that the U.S. navy has trained a pod of underwater weapon-firing, boat-hating dolphins. The high-tech dolphins were supposedly washed away by Hurricane Katrina, and the fear was that these dolphins could swim anywhere to shoot ships at whim. So, if you are on the high seas and see a dolphin next to the boat, you better feed him or else.

I don't think the Observer is being creative enough. Just think about it. Trained dolphin from America are one of the few in the world that could have access to nuclear technology. Strapped to a dolphin's back, such nukes could blow up any coastal city if major governments refused to feed fresh mackeral every morning to these cetaceans.

But such is not the case. MSNBC ran a story to show that such fantastic claims were bogus. And as of yesterday, the final four missing Mississippi dolphins have been reported as caught and accounted for. The trained dolphin actually are located in San Diego, not Mississippi. They don't shoot laser beams but are trained to look for strange objects on the bottom of boats. So, it looks like time might be better spent for the British reporter to write an Austin Powers IV movie plot instead. Judging from his article, he's pretty good at spinning a yarn. Can you picture Mini-me straddling a Navy-trained dolphin up the river Thames on his way to hold the residents of London hostage? Now that's good movie stuff.

Photograph provided by Gwen Chandler of Shreveport, LA c/o Stock.xchng

Teen finds the power to fight politicos

A teen is finding the power in himself to challenge top Utah politicians. The funny thing is that this happened all during first lady Mary Kaye Huntsman's "The Power in You" initiative to promote self-esteem among teens. It looks like this teen has ample supply of self-esteem. While exiting a parking lot at Southern Utah University in Cedar City, eighteen-year-old Zachary Schryver found himself hit by Attorney General Mark Shurtleff limousine as it swerved into Schryver's lane to avoid a barricade. A security officer of SUU cited Schryver for the incident and the teen decided to fight it. It seems fairly obvious to this writer that the driver of Shurtleff's limo should get the ticket, not the teen.

175th Semiannual General Conference

"...live together in peace without war and contention, argument and conflict."

So said President Gordon B. Hinckley at the Sunday morning session of the 175th Semiannual General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

The photo is taken and touched up by me of members lined up to enter the Conference Center for the Sunday morning session. What's not seen are a few street preachers holding up signs and shouting denouncements of the teachings of the church at designated areas and a group of single LDS adults that formed a choir singing hymns in contrast to the shouting. There were pockets outside the center that had a carnival atmosphere. Inside was still and calm.

Scientists Photograph Giant Squid in Wild

TOKYO (AP) -- Through incredible determination and brilliance, a team of Japanese scientists has captured on film for the first time one of the most mysterious creatures of the deep-sea in its natural habitat. At 26 feet in length, here's proof from film and dna that this Architeuthis exists. (Cliff's note: In the diving community, we've believed that such giant creatures existed but have had little hard evidence until now.)