Whale Vomit

What is one whale’s vomit is another woman’s perfume.

At least, that's what I learned growing up as a little tike with a scuba diving family in Hawaii. I learned at age ten that if whale vomit floats on the ocean long enough, it becomes a perfume -- expensive perfume at that.

My father would run check-out dives on the weekends. And during one of those diving trips, he recovered whale vomit off the Maui Channel. Having been told that perfume was made of sperm whale vomit, I picked it up and sniffed its sweet smell. It was such a bizarre story that I've always remembered it. My family never acted on cashing in on the rather petrified gray matter. Like so many other things in life, we interacted with it and let it slip by.

But judging from this story about an Australian couple and the riches a single regurgitation of whale vomit brought them, my family could have been rich too – if only we had sold that lump of gray floating rock. If only...

Reading the Bible As Literature

This is a great thought by Eric Russell in his blog A Motley Vision.

"But I think there’s great value to reading the Bible as fiction – as literature. I think the greater variety of ways we can interpret the scriptures, the better...Christ’s parables all had a central purpose, but they are imbedded with innumerable lessons directed at multiple audiences. I think much of the Bible is the same way. The more we can mine out of the text, the richer our experiences will be."

Well said. When we read the scriptures as modern-style history, we miss a lot if we do not let the tools of literature jump out at us. For example, there is a definite parable in demons jumping out of a madman into unkosher pigs, only to have the little porkers plunge into a tempestuous sea. Or there is symbolism in Christ causing the blind man to see, besides the history of Jesus healing an afflicted man.

The good news messages linked with the story as a parable reinforce each other. Read it only as history and you risk missing spiritual truths behind such events.

"The significance of this miracle [at the marriage of Cana] may be better appreciated if the unique symbolism of water and wine in Old Testament theology is recognized. Water appears in ancient scripture as a powerful symbol of universal death, particularly that which results from disobedience to God...The transmutation of water to wine foreshadowed the work of the Lord in overcoming death..." [The Waters of Destruction and the Vine of Redemption, 37 Allen J. Christenson, Provo, Utah]

Then there are the nuances of the actual story and how meaning can shift significantly depending on how you might read the detail of a single word. Often I can only see what I have been trained to see. I find taking a legalistic approach in asking myself to see only what is in the story helps me check my assumptions and gain additional insights into the scripture.

Those are the approaches that work for me.

I'm No Job (But A Good Job Will Do)

“I merely took the energy it takes to pout and wrote some blues.” - Duke Ellington

I'm no Job of Old Testament fame but when it rains it pours. And when it pours, the quote above from Duke Ellington is good advice. It's more constructive to write some blues and I can do so on my blog.

One bit of bad news this past month to sing the blues about, among many, was carcinoma of the bladder, something I didn't expect to hear at my age with my clean lifestyle. But, as Job would say if he spoke French instead of presumably Hebrew, “c’est la vie.” There are certain bumps and threats that are just part of life.

On second thought, maybe Job wouldn't say that. Each language brings its own lenses on the world that are embedded in its words. His buddies with the funny names tended to think in more black and white terms of divine causality. e.g. “For though God wounds, he also bandages. He strikes, but his hands also heal. (Job 5.18)” Hebrew speakers probably didn't think in terms of "such is life" or "stuff just happens".

And they certainly didn't know how to sing the blues when bad stuff did happen. They'd have to learn that from the Duke in America. The thing to learn from the story of Job is not the blues but rather patience and faith amidst adversity, even when you don't understand "why me".

I went to the hospital before Christmas to undergo cystoscopy, where a fairly large tumor in my bladder was scraped out. This kind of tumor tends to be a somewhat benign form of malignant cancer – if that makes sense. The doctor explained that there was no such thing as a benign tumor of the bladder. It’s all bad. It just depends on how bad. I was fortunate in that the carcinoma cells were shallow and growing slowly. The unwelcome cells, as unwelcome as a flasher at a BYU football game, were escorted out of my body completely and without complications. This bump in my life was now gone.

Some men tend to get quiet and introspective when serious things happen, while others are quiet even when unserious things happen. I’m somewhat quiet when unserious and really, really quiet when things get serious. Hence, my muteness on my blog.

I managed to get out to smell the roses during the holidays though. I enjoyed seeing and photographing the Christmas lights one cool crisp evening at Temple Square. That's when I took the photo above.

The construction there slowed down the flood of humanity, much like road construction in the middle lane of I-15 slows down both North and Southbound traffic during rush hour. I don’t know where the sampling of dense humanity around Temple Square comes from, maybe from the Diaspora of Utahans around the country returning to family. At any rate, it was busier than the exit of a NY skyscraper at lunchtime.

Still, I can’t think of any place more christmasy than Temple Square during Christmas week with the lights on. It was good to be alive and to have good health.

Newsweek article on "Mormons: Heavenly Prophecy"

Get ready. Eliza Souka and the team at Newsweek are getting ready for another Newsweek article for the Dec 26 - Jan 2, edition, Mormons: Heavenly Prophecy.

Eliza writes, "'You're not going to mention polygamy, are you?' I was asked by more than one fellow Mormon when they heard I was working on a story about the church's founding."

My vote is that it would be more interesting if they did devote some space to the issue. After all, not writing about it is like mentioning Joseph Smith without mentioning Mormonism. It ain't quite all there.

A built in weather tower for water readings

Science is about asking the why's and wherefore's. For example, why does a narwhal have such a long tusk coming out from under its mouth? I've always thought it was for some macho thing like fighting for a mate, but then why do the females have it? Well, it turns out that this is a unique organ for detecting the slightest changes in the aquatic environment, such as ever so slight changes in salinity. As amazing as that finding is, the question now is why would a Narwhal need to know if the barametric pressure is rising or if salinity levels are dropping?

It is hypothesized that it may be an arctic mechanism to tell it if ice is freezing in the area. I would have thought seeing the ice with their eyes or feeling the water like the rest of their cousins would be good enough. This opens a whole lot more questions.

Fascinating.

Singers in renowned Mormon choir revel in anonymity

The Mormon Tabernacle Choir is on a roll this Christmas season, and some papers are featuring their local singers. Judging from a Casper, Wyoming article featuring one such choir member, it is better to blend in, to be part of the group. And oh what music that heavenly blend of voices make.

This particular Casper Star-Tribune reporter queries about their Wyoming choir member singing solo. It is such a natural query - when is our local boy going to get his chance to shine for the boys back home? We are a culture of individualism and individual heroism, probably accentuated by the Greeks and their Olympic games long ago.

When I worked with Nike in Asia-Pacific, our sports marketing team had a tough time persuading a Korean soccor team to join us. We wanted to sponsor teams but to highlight and give extra compensation to super star individuals -- you know, we wanted a Mia Hamm of Korea. Our Western sentiment and commercial savvy told us that people rally around individuals more than anything else.

The Korean point of view was that any individual that shined did so because the team made it possible for that individual's talents to be so brilliant. Each individual was only a part of the whole and their contribution alone could NOT create a win. Such notions were as silly to them as playing baseball with a one man team. No individual was greater than the team and so (here's the killer) all should receive equally of the benefits. There was a clash of perspective and culture. We wanted to create the Yao Ming (the Chinese basketball star) of Korean soccor but the Koreans were too collective in orientation. We wrestled with them for quite some time. Finally, the money, our efforts and our perspective won out but not after a long time of not being able to sign the team, much to our chagrin.

The Choir is an institution -- an organization of collective Christian voice and song. There is something of a clash of cultures here to the modern beat, albeit subtle. Nonetheless, we find ways to accomodate such modernity. The Choir accomodates the roar of us moderns by featuring individual world-class singers to let their voices shine, with the choir accompanying them. Yet, the choir and its very size is a testament to earlier days of supressing the individual to the needs of the whole body of Christ.

John 17: 21. That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me.

In a lifetime of receiving one church calling after another (after all, our local clergy are all lay clergy of volunteers) many of us relate to this choir member's sentiments. To get a sense of how busy we members can get, think of your local priest or minister, besides their ministerial duties, think of them having another 40 to 60 hour a week job and a family to support. That's us and that certainly is our clergy. We are a church that has a church calling for everyone.

In a busy world, we all want to help but we also relate to the pleasures of doing it anonymously and with less of a hefty calling. Blending in can be a virtue.

What some people will do for frequent flyer points

This guy has way too much time on his hands and must have one really healthy body. It's hard to imagine being able to accumulate one million frequent flyer miles in 56 days. Ouch!! After two months of zig-zagging across Canada by plane, frequent flyer Marc Tacchi has reached his goal of accumulating one million miles of credits -- and become something of an Internet celebrity in the process. The 30-year-old embarked on his venture using Air Canada's North America Unlimited Pass -- a C$7,000 ticket that allowed passengers limitless travel within the continent between October 1 and November 30.

Alas, poor Yorick

In my discussion of Hamlet and his journey through life and death, I would be remiss if I left this famous speech out. The once familiar funny court jester that Hamlet runs into on his return home is not at the top of his form. What's left of him is a skeleton next to a grave. The humor of his old looks and for that matter his life are now long gone.

I include the modern English text instead of Shakespearean English. I find the contemporary vernacular for this excerpt easier in following Shakespeare's line of thinking.

"Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio, a fellow of infinite fun, of most excellent imagination. He has carried me on his back a thousand times, and now, how repulsed it is in my imagination! I want to vomit. Here hung those lips that I have kissed I don’t know how many times. Where are your jokes now?"

"Your games? Your songs? Your flashes of laughter that always make the audience roar? No one now, to mock your own grinning? Quite jaw−fallen? Now, get you to my lady's bedroom, and tell her, let her put on make−up an inch thick, she must come to this party, make her laugh at that." (Hamlet 5.1)

Source: Hamlet e-text with modern translation (pdf file)

Hamlet's profound questions on life

I watched Franco Zeffirelli's movie version of Shakespeare's Hamlet with Mel Gibson as Prince Hamlet and Glenn Close as Queen Gertrude. Zeffirelli -- you know, the director of Romeo & Juliet, Jesus of Nazareth, and the Taming of the Shrew (think Elizabeth Taylor).

I’m not a literary critic nor have I been a particular fan of The Bard but that is changing. I’m smitten by the power of some of Shakespeare’s plays, particularly Julius Caeser and now Hamlet -- of their themes of life, ambition and death. Shakespeare frames it this way, "All that lives must die, Passing through nature to eternity." (Hamlet, 1. 2) I just wish the language was a little more modern and understandable so that I would not have to think so much about what was being said. One shouldn't have to think when someone says "hi" or "goodbye". Fortunately, the old tongue has been modernized (Hamlet text in pdf format).

The play starts with Hamlet returning to the castle after his father’s death and his uncle’s immediate ascension to the crown and quick marriage to the Queen, thus further solidifying his position as the new king. Things are fishy in Denmark, which is, afterall, a pretty fishy place. Ever encounter a smiling jackal who schemes their own ambitions at your expense? For Hamlet, the world combines to be unjust, and his response is anger, depression, scheming and a touch of madness.

Hamlet speaks with depression and anger at the unweeded garden of this life (see photo).

O that this too solid flesh would melt,
Thaw, and resolve itself into a dew!
Or that the Everlasting had not fix'd
His canon 'gainst self−slaughter! O God! O God!
How weary, stale, flat, and unprofitable
Seem to me all the uses of this world!
Fie on't! O fie! 'tis an unweeded garden,
That grows to seed; things rank and gross in nature
Possess it merely. That it should come to this!

Returning from a university education, which is quite an accomplishment back in those days, Hamlet is a thinker who weighs things out before acting on them. An apparition of his king father appears and asks his son Hamlet to seek revenge. There are those of us who wouldn’t give this otherworldly instruction a second thought. We simply obey. Hamlet can’t help but ponder – to think of the justice of such actions, of the meaning of the instructions and the source itself. Is that really His Father or is it a devil? Maybe his life would have been simpler and not a tragedy if he straight-forwardly carried out his father's wishes, but Hamlet's humanity must wrestle with such things.

He addresses the question that we sometimes think as we turn out the lights and lay in bed at night.

“What the hell am I doing with my life?” To live. To die. What's the difference? Is it best to not rock the boat of an unjust world or should I fight the fight? Are we stubborn in the things that we believe will make a better world, which will surely bring resistance? Or do we bend and not rock the boat so as to make the smoothest course possible? And what’s all this suffering for?

To be, or not to be,−−that is the question:−−
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them?−−To die,−−to sleep,−−
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heartache, and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to,−−'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die,−−to sleep;−−
To sleep! perchance to dream:−−ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come,
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause: there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life;
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
The pangs of despis'd love, the law's delay,
The insolence of office, and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? who would these fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,−−
The undiscover'd country, from whose bourn
No traveller returns,−−puzzles the will,
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought;
And enterprises of great pith and moment,
With this regard, their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action.

I'm not doing the play much justice in my description of what touched me. It does skirt through about as profound a theme as it gets -- life and death. Shakespeare was on top of his game when he wrote Hamlet.

There are probably answers to each of Hamlet's questions in LDS and the broader world of Christian doctrine, but Hamlet again questions neatly packaged answers.

"There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy." (Hamlet, 1. 5)

Certainly, God is all-knowing but there is a huge chasm of what we know and what He knows. And there are things that we think we know that we do not. But even more fundamental than our lack of answers, we are still discovering the very questions to be dreamt of.

References: Shakespeare in Classic and Modern Texts
Wikipedia on Hamlet

Thanksgiving for Smallpox

3 Nephi 10: 10 … and the mourning, and the weeping, and the wailing of the people who were spared alive did cease; and their mourning was turned into joy, and their lamentations into the praise and thanksgiving unto the Lord Jesus Christ, their Redeemer.

This scripture from the Book of Mormon is a great description of how joyful it is to be saved from the hand of destruction, the terrible devastation that preceded the Savior’s visit to the New World. However, this description equally reminds me of the joy the European pilgrims must have felt in their delivery from the forces of destruction and their thanksgiving. The only problem is that they thought of the Indians as a potential source of their destruction.

Here's a Thanksgiving holiday editorial from the Anchorage Press that gives a rather untraditional bent on our traditional telling of the camaraderie and thanks of Thanksgiving.

"Historians who dig beneath the revisionist veneer of Thanksgiving legend report that the original three-day feast of 1621 featured as much guarded suspicion as camaraderie, and any crying and hugging that might have gone on seems to have spread more smallpox than love into the native population. In a sermon at Plymouth two years after the original Thanksgiving, a Pilgrim preacher named Mather the Elder thanked God for smallpox, which had by that point wiped out many of the Wampanoag. A few years later, the Pilgrims and what was left of the Wampanoag were fighting each other in King Philip's War, which by today's standards would be considered more a massacre than a war."

This is a fascinating take on events but it's a rather dark and depressing thought for this day of appreciation and thanksgiving. I mean thanksgiving that our potential enemies were wiped out by an unseen disease of God by some 95%. Wow!! I can see why we might shy away from looking at that aspect. Unfortunately, that temporary friendship probably sped up the spread of smallpox to Native Americans who had no resistance or immunity to it that the Europeans did. The sad thing is that the Wampanoag were doomed, whether they were friends or foe.

I now need to lighten the mood by eating a little more pumpkin pie and watching a football game to get back into the spirit of things, and thinking of more pleasant things like how at one point at least we were humbled enough by the wild forces of a hostile New World to get along with people who were so different.
Photo by Ariel Camilo via stock.xchng

Landing on the highway of life

Although it wasn't in his flight plan, a North Carolina pilot found it most prudent to land his airplane on a four-lane highway. My life is like that. Plan your flight and fly your plan is what flight instructors instruct their students. I have been told by others and have told myself exactly where the milestones in my life should be for a good pilot and what I should be doing. I try to stick to "my plan". Good pilots land at the airport. Yet, unexpected things happen.

Life throws us curves and sometimes very bad ones, such as an engine blowing up. I find it interesting that at that exact moment of crisis, it was not the air controller saving the pilot or even telling the pilot what to do but rather the pilot had to think fast for himself. He was the captain of his ship and no one else, despite all the advisors that were available on the other side of his radio. In the end, the pilot had to rely on his training, his instinct, his gut to tell him what to do.

The pilot searched for the best spot to land, an unbusy part of a four lane highway and then he landed that sucker. He put his plane down, coasted to the side of the highway, and walked away.

They say a successful landing is one that you can walk away from.

Web Cam Saves Mom Across Globe

The wonders of modern technology, particularly the web camera. I know I could have used this technology years ago when my grandfather kept passing out in his house and hitting the hard floor with his face.

A Web camera made it possible for two men to get help for their mother after she collapsed at her home, even though she was thousands of miles away. (AP)

What you do to others, you do to me

How do we treat our perceived enemies, the mysterious monster that threatens us? I know I struggle with this in my own life. "Ye are the light of the world" the scriptures say.

The problem is that the light is not always on me. Sometimes I'm left to my own prejudices.

My christianity tends to really disappear when I am faced with the great beast -- like my big friend in fifth grade who looked like he was going to pop me one. Taking bad advice about defending myself with utmost force when threatened, I hit him with a school chair. He was knocked out cold for seconds. As it turns out, he was coming over to help calm me down. How easily bad intelligence leads to bad results.

How one responds to perceived threats is a test of character. I get to see what I'm really made of under the veneer. Unfortunately, I didn't like what I found that day or the consequences. I was suspended for a week.

There are also times that you have to enforce reasonable rules. Anyone with kids knows that. One may be accused of being grossly unfair but it is the best solution that could be thought up given the circumstances.

I am fascinated by how Utahans as a whole have treated "the others" -- those who do not belong to the dominant religion of this state as well as ethnic minorities -- Polynesians, Japanese, Greeks and other immigrant settlements, to say nothing of Native Americans.

Here is one story about how some Utahans have treated its sizeable population of Japanese immigrants and Japanese Americans before, during and after WWII. I've heard stories at church about how kindly Japanese were treated. Well, here's a few that were not.

"In Utah, police searched Japanese homes for shortwave radios, cameras, guns. They opened drawers, cupboards, scattering everything to the floor..."

"In dead of winter, warm wastewater was diverted onto cold railroad tracks in Garfield and suspicion fell to the Japanese. Jinzaburo was fired and ordered to leave "town" within three days. Accused with no recourse, the Matsumiyas, like so many of their countrymen, bowed to silence."

"...they went next to Payson looking at places to rent. "Even a barn would do," Chiyo said, "but we were told it wasn't for rent to 'Japs.' "

That last bit about no place for rent not even a barn sounds like the Christmas story, but worse. At least they had a manger.

I see that I'm not the only one with blind spots. Humans will be humans. And before one gets angry at Mormons, these stories could easily be about Utahans who haven't stepped inside a church for generations. And who says there Mormon? Still, there is one thing that I do know -- we humans have a knack for cruelty to people outside our group while thinking we're the epitome of fairness and kindness.

D&C 121:39. We have learned by sad experience that it is the nature and disposition of almost all men, as soon as they get a little authority, as they suppose, they will immediately begin to exercise unrighteous dominion.

Driving to California

Shakespeare wrote, “"Better three hours too soon than one minute too late." I am not a minute late in my web log writings, but rather a week. This entry is now far from timely. I’ve been busy with business and traveling. It is a lame excuse in the modern connected world since the Internet is available just about anywhere but that is my excuse and I’m sticking with it.

I drove down to the Southland this week, passing from Salt Lake City through Las Vegas to Los Angeles. It’s a long drive but there are many things to see along the way -- places such as the Mohave Desert, Calico Man, Las Vegas, or Zion's National Park. Travelling on a crisp Fall day is particularly breath taking. One of my favorite scenic areas on I-15 is the Virgin River Gorge just below Saint George, Utah on the Arizona side.

We have a home in both Utah and California, so my heart is in both places. Still, California does stands apart. Of course, Utah has the spectacular rocky mountain range that is the geographical backbone of the state. California has its own backbone, the equally spectacular Sierra Nevada mountain range that seperates it from the deserts of Nevada. But that frame is garnished with the front profile of a buff gymnast, an eye-quenching waterfront view that runs from top to bottom. The beach communities and coastal areas particularly feel like what the Brits nickname “LaLa Land”. It looks like a piece of the mediterranean, plentiful with milk, honey and oh yes, let's not forget silicon implants.

If there were a Republic of California, a separate country from the United States, its 30 million people would have the fifth largest economy in the world, while probably ranking first in the length of its traffic jams. People come in all shades in California. It is a place of diversity. With a per capita income of $33,000, it ranks only as the twelfth richest in the union so it shouldn’t feel that rich. But California is a place of diversity. Migrant workers, immigrants and the disadvantaged lower its per capita income but it also has some of the richest communities in the country. The palm trees of the Southland accentuate these affluent neighborhoods from the rest of the country and its seperateness -- at least to my eyes.

When I am in the Southland, if time permits I try to drive to a favorite place. The photo above (taken by me) is of that quiet, private and deeply enrichening spot. You know, one of those places that one can look out to the abyss and feel invigorated by nature and yet feel so insignificant. On an overlook, I like watching the sea lions on a close by rock that sticks out of the Pacific. These pinapeds are far enough away that I'm not deafened by their calls or physically threatened by their bulls. I mean, ever have a thousand pound bull sit on you? The cool salt air is carried up the cliffs by a brisk coastal wind. The salt air quickens me.

LDS Church Highlighted on Today Show

The TODAY Show began a week-long series on "mysterious faiths". The first on the list is The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, which I guess is still a mystery for those in New York, the birth place of the church. Here's the video of the interview with the Stake President from New York about the church. Here's a couple quotes from the NY Stake President, followed by my take.

[NY Stake President] "Currently, the LDS faith is the fastest growing religion in the United States with more than 5 of its 12 million members here in the U.S."
[Cliff] The Stake President is pretty close to the mark. There was a story in the Deseret News a few weeks ago showing that the church is certainly ONE of the fastest growing MAJOR faiths in the United States, but it isn't necessarily THE fastest growing of this group. I would imagine that some small religion, say 2 people just had another 2 join last year. That would give them 100% growth rate per annum, something we definitely do not have. There's a lot of room for people to challenge that broad statement. Nonetheless, the point is that the church is growing very fast.

[NY Stake President] "We worship God the Father through his Son Jesus Christ with Christ being the head of the Church. Christ restored his original church through Joseph Smith who we revere, but don't worship him...we look at Joseph as a prophet that existed in ancient times...Moses, Abraham, Isaiah
[Cliff] The editing is not doing the Stake President justice. I didn't catch anything in the videoed interview that made Joseph Smith sound like a reincarnated prophet that existed in ancient times. That, of course, is plain false.