Flipper trained to flip out?

The Observer of Britain has really out done itself this time, reporting that the U.S. navy has trained a pod of underwater weapon-firing, boat-hating dolphins. The high-tech dolphins were supposedly washed away by Hurricane Katrina, and the fear was that these dolphins could swim anywhere to shoot ships at whim. So, if you are on the high seas and see a dolphin next to the boat, you better feed him or else.

I don't think the Observer is being creative enough. Just think about it. Trained dolphin from America are one of the few in the world that could have access to nuclear technology. Strapped to a dolphin's back, such nukes could blow up any coastal city if major governments refused to feed fresh mackeral every morning to these cetaceans.

But such is not the case. MSNBC ran a story to show that such fantastic claims were bogus. And as of yesterday, the final four missing Mississippi dolphins have been reported as caught and accounted for. The trained dolphin actually are located in San Diego, not Mississippi. They don't shoot laser beams but are trained to look for strange objects on the bottom of boats. So, it looks like time might be better spent for the British reporter to write an Austin Powers IV movie plot instead. Judging from his article, he's pretty good at spinning a yarn. Can you picture Mini-me straddling a Navy-trained dolphin up the river Thames on his way to hold the residents of London hostage? Now that's good movie stuff.

Photograph provided by Gwen Chandler of Shreveport, LA c/o Stock.xchng